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Author Topic: It's great to be a man...  (Read 2812 times)

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Whisper

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It's great to be a man...
« on: Dec 31, 01, 06:10:21 am CST »

>
> > It's great to be a man...
> >
> >
> > Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
> >
> > Your orgasms are real. Always.
> >
> > Your last name stays put.
> >
> > You never feel compelled to stop a friend from
> > getting laid.
> >
> > Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
> >
> > The garage is all yours.
> >
> > Wedding plans take care of themselves.
> >
> > Chocolate is just another snack.
> >
> > You can be president.
> >
> > You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
> >
> > Car mechanics tell you the truth.
> >
> > You don't give a rats ass if someone notices your
> > new haircut.
> >
> > If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
> >
> > Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
> >
> > You can open all your own jars.
> >
> > You never have to drive to another gas station
> > because this ones just too icky.
> >
> > Same work...more pay.
> >
> > Wrinkles add character.
> >
> > Wedding Dress $5,000; Tux rental $100.
> >
> > People never stare at your chest when you're talking
> > to them.
> >
> > New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
> >
> > One mood, ALL the damn time.
> >
> > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
> >
> > A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
> >
> > You can leave the motel bed unmade.
> >
> > You can kill your own food.
> >
> > You get extra credit for the slightest act of
> > thoughtfulness.
> >
> > If someone forgets to invite you to something, he
> > or she can still be your friend.
> >
> > Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
> >
> > You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger
> > seat.
> >
> > Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
> >
> > You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for
> > hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
> >
> > You can drop by to see a friend without having to
> > bring a little gift.
> >
> > If another guy shows up at the party in the same
> > outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
> >
> > You are not expected to know the names of more  than
> > five colors.
> >
> > you don't have to stop and think of which way to
> > turn a nut on a bolt.
> >
> > You almost never have strap problems in public.
> >
> > You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
> >
> > The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
> >
> > You don't have to shave below your neck.
> >
> > One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all
> > seasons.
> >
> > You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
> >
> > You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
> > mustache.
> >
> > Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25
> > relatives, December 24th, in 45 minutes.
> >
> > The world is your urinal.
> >
>
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Whisper
aka Lady Whisper
aka Wicked Wench Whisper (#1469)
http://WenchWhisper.com
aka Willow Roberts of the Grave Dancer (#335)
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http://TheGraveDancer.com
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Random

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It's great to be a man...
« Reply #1 on: Dec 31, 01, 04:45:14 pm CST »

Quote
Orginally posted by Whisper

> > Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

I resent that!  My Ass GOT me my job!

> > Your orgasms are real. Always.

I never ask them to lie... that's their choice.  If they didnt, I'd keep going.

> > Your last name stays put.

That's not always a good thing.

> > You never feel compelled to stop a friend from
> > getting laid.

Oh the HELL we dont!  Two words: Beer Goggles

> > Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

And you dont have to wear a tie.

> > The garage is all yours.

Why?!  Dont you Park there??

> > Wedding plans take care of themselves.

No, We get kicked out!  All because you dopnt want a football wedding where we spike the Bouquet after dodging lineman in the Aisle.

> > Chocolate is just another snack.

You speak SACRILIDGE!!!

> > You can be president.

Not with the Skelingtons in MY closet

> > You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Nah... I really cant

> > Car mechanics tell you the truth.

HA!!! Thats a good ONE!
 
> > You don't give a rats ass if someone notices your
> > new haircut.

Thats cause the people who SHOULD notice it always do!

> > If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

Oh like you have the market CORNERED on Water retention

> > Porn movies are designed with you in mind.

You mean "Guys with 12in dicks" was for ME?!?!  Why werent there any women in it then?!

> > You can open all your own jars.

Unless you have wrist problems, then you have your G/F, Wife, or Mom do it FOR you... and swear them to secrecy.

> > You never have to drive to another gas station
> > because this ones just too icky.

Cause men NEVER have to SIT on the bowl...::Rolls eyes::

> > Same work...more pay.

Can I have THAT job?!

> > Wrinkles add character.

No... they make you look like a rasin

> > Wedding Dress $5,000; Tux rental $100.

Family dress handed down to the next Generation: Priceless

> > People never stare at your chest when you're talking
> > to them.
Are you KIDDING?!  drop ONE bit of Katsup on your tie and thats ALL they look at!

> > New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

I refuse to dignify that with comment.

> > One mood, ALL the damn time.

Sorry, we have 2...

> > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

Thats cause we'd rather speak in person.

> > A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

Depending on the situation... not even.

> > You can leave the motel bed unmade.

Isnt that the POINT of a hotel?

> > You can kill your own food.

Um... NO!  Ewww...

> > You get extra credit for the slightest act of
> > thoughtfulness.

From who?!?!?!

> > If someone forgets to invite you to something, he
> > or she can still be your friend.

Oh, I get it... we're men... it doesnt hurt to be snubbed... uh huh...

> > Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Thats really not true... and you COULD buy undies for the same price... you CHOOSE not to.

> > You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger
> > seat.

I wont comment... except to say... that WE stay awake

> > Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

No... 4 perhaps but NOT 3

> > You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for
> > hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

Well Duh... silence doesn't imply anger.

> > You can drop by to see a friend without having to
> > bring a little gift.

Well thats just Rude!

> > If another guy shows up at the party in the same
> > outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

Why?  Cause his girlfriend/wife dressed him too?

> > You are not expected to know the names of more  than
> > five colors.

Unless you're gay and then we expect that they dress in outlandish colors... ::sighs:: For the record Ochre is not just a spice.

> > you don't have to stop and think of which way to
> > turn a nut on a bolt.

See the Mechanic statement

> > You almost never have strap problems in public.

Nope, colar problems... and tie problems.

> > You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Untrue... we just dont care.

> > The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

Well there isnt much you CAN do with BALD.

> > You don't have to shave below your neck.

No??  Good news guys!  Back hair is ok with them now!

> > One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all
> > seasons.

I thought we covered this??  4 pairs of shoes!!!  We have SHITLOADS of boots... and THOSE are all season

> > You can do your nails with a pocketknife.

Mabey if I was Grizzley F'n Adams!!! EWW...

> > You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
> > mustache.

Yup... unless you realize that one wont grow... and then you get mocked as looking amish.

> > Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25
> > relatives, December 24th, in 45 minutes.

The 23rd thank you very much!  We have NO intention of waiting til the last minute!

> > The world is your urinal.

Didnt I see a devise to assist you women in that?

>


Now then... Yes, I DO know this is a joke... I am responding to it as such. My answers are NOT meant to be taken anymore seriously than the original post.
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Random- The Moulin Rogue

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Fisty

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It's great to be a man...
« Reply #2 on: Dec 31, 01, 05:16:16 pm CST »

well it would be better if could have more than one damn orgams without having to sleep.
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Fisty Nickle
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Whisper

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It's great to be a man...
« Reply #3 on: Jan 01, 02, 07:13:40 am CST »

Now then... Yes, I DO know this is a joke... I am responding to it as such. My answers are NOT meant to be taken anymore seriously than the original post.
 
-----------------------------

Glad you added that Random ... I was getting worried ! !

:)
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Whisper
aka Lady Whisper
aka Wicked Wench Whisper (#1469)
http://WenchWhisper.com
aka Willow Roberts of the Grave Dancer (#335)
Stowaway / Historian
http://TheGraveDancer.com
If you're close enough to see this flag...
we're already looting you !
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