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Author Topic: Hillbilly Love Tips  (Read 1541 times)

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Hillbilly Love Tips
« on: Jan 01, 02, 08:50:25 pm CST »

Hillbilly Love Tips

1. Wash thoroughly before a big date, not just under your arms but your whole body.
2. Don’t wait for special occasions to bring a gift.  Be spontaneous – if you spot a dead rabbit on the road on the way to a date, bring it along so your sweetheart can stew it.
3. Shower her with compliments.  Focus on the positive.  For example, if she’s missing half her teeth, don’t talk about the gaps, tell her the ones she does have are real purdy.
4. Find common ground.  If the two of you are first cousins, jawbone fer a spell about the nice fishing trips you used to take with grandpa.
5. Impress her with your storehouse of knowledge.  For example, if you’re a whiz at darts, tell her some of the fine points of the game and treat her to a demonstration.
6. Never brag about past exploits – especially the ones with your kissin’ cousins.
7. Make your dates fun.  You don’t have to spend a lot of money.  Look for free activities such as a church hayride, skinny-dipping, or shooting rats at the county dump.
8. When your date is visiting you, make sure the outhouse is stocked with toilet paper.
9. Whisper sweet nothings in her ear in bed – just saying “brace yourself” or letting out a rebel yell is not enough.
10. Ask her pappy for permission to marry her.  Showing respect will put you in good stead with both him and your honey.
Note:  Very important if your gal is under age 14.

ye haw!

da Baroness
Baroness d'Livonia Velvette Duvay
Attilla the Mum
Condescending Old Bitty
Wench MCL #1257


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Hillbilly Love Tips
« Reply #1 on: Jan 02, 02, 05:57:54 pm CST »

Uh, ok.


I'll buy the next one, Baroness.

"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."
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