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Author Topic: Alexander's Wonderous Transformation  (Read 19190 times)

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Magnus

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #40 on: Jun 25, 01, 12:05:41 pm CDT »

"Oops. Sorry fella. You know I am kinda hungry. I just need to start a fire. I wonder if monkey taste like chicken. I guess I'll find out." And then suddenly..........
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"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."

johnians

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #41 on: Jun 25, 01, 02:05:45 pm CDT »

a bunch of bananas fell on his head. Dazed he saw a whole group of monkeys advancing on him. he tried to start up the bulldozer but the gas  level was on Empty, so he.....
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Magnus

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #42 on: Jun 26, 01, 10:15:27 am CDT »

So he picked up the bananas and offered them to the monkeys. The monkeys stopped and looked at him. They took the bananas and thanked him. They turned around and started to eat them. Just then Alex pulled out a shotgun from the bulldozer and opened fire on the monkeys. "I just love the smell of gun powder in the morning!" Alex said with an evil grin........................
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"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."

johnians

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #43 on: Jun 26, 01, 10:24:46 am CDT »

but as he stepped backward he slipped on the banana skiins and slid right towards the biggest ape he ever saw.. It was at least 10 feet tall and it was looking very mean. It was juggling a pineapple in it's hands, when suddely it pulled the pin and tossed it towards Alex. Whoosh, a giant explosion light up the beach. bulldozer parts, dead monkeys, falling palm trees and lots of sand went flying.
Where was Alex?  Was this the end of Alex? Nooo! The dust clears up and ....
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Magnus

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #44 on: Jun 27, 01, 06:52:21 am CDT »

and Shadow woke him up. They were on a beach in the middle of no where. "Where are we?" Alex asked.
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"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."

Ariel

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #45 on: Jun 27, 01, 10:36:26 am CDT »

Alex was completely dazed by his dream...what the hell was a bulldozer? What was grey poupon??? Who the hell was Tom Hanks and why did he have an inflatible ball??? And where did Alex get that gun and know how to use it? Alex decided to put the dream from his mind and concentrate on what Shadow was saying to him.
"the ship is destroyed and we are the only two survivors. Somehow we washed up on this beach. I have a feeling its the beach we have been looking for."
Alex stood and looked around him. He saw...
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johnians

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #46 on: Jun 27, 01, 12:08:33 pm CDT »

just up from the beach were a string of fancy hotels and beach umbrellas. A boardwalk seemed full of scantily clad bodies and many photographers. "Oh No,This must be Cannes during the Film Festival." Alex and Shadow moved closer to the boardwalk. "Hey That looks like Tom Hanks. " Maybe it wasn't all a dream, Alex thought. Just then a beachball
landed at Shadow's feet. He reached up to pick up the ball as beautiful girl came running up to get the ball. "Miss, here's your ball. What's happening up there?. She smiled and said "
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Magnus

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #47 on: Jul 01, 01, 06:40:15 pm CDT »

"An Adult Movie extravaganza. All the top porn stars are there. It has been said that even the most hard up virgin, like your friend here, could get some." Shadow and Alex both could have been knocked over by a feather. Shadow was thinking, "How could I have forgotten about this? I must have lost my tickets."

While Alex's worst fear was realized. "It shows that much. I wish someone would put me out of my misery."
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Magnus

"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."

johnians

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #48 on: Jul 02, 01, 09:33:19 am CDT »

"You're kinda cute Alex",said the girl with the beach ball."My girl friends and I are having a party tonight. Wanna come"
Alex and Shaddow nodded together as much impressed by the invitation as with the young girl hold the ball close to her chest.
 "It's a no brainer that the long dry spell is over." Said Alex.
Arriving at the party, Alex and Shadow looked in the open front door to see....
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Magnus

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #49 on: Jul 02, 01, 09:48:21 am CDT »

Wall to wall naked chicks!!!!!!! The chick with the beach ball, Sandy, came up to them and said "Come on in boys. Remember to take your clothes off as this is a 'No Clothes' housing developement."
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Magnus

"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."

johnians

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #50 on: Jul 02, 01, 02:05:12 pm CDT »

What a developement!. said Shadow. Shadow and Alex quickly got rid of their clothes and stepped into the house. As they did they heard a crack of electricity. Boom. As their eyes cleared. They found themselves on a boat in a deserted ocean in a lightning storm. Their clothes had been burned off by a bolt of lightning. They were now really awake. "What happened to the Beach ball? said Alex. "What Happened to the naked women, is what you mean" said Shadow.
 Reaching for the oars they started to paddle away from the storm. A dim light on the far horizon began to glow stronger. The aim their small boat towards it. Whe they got closer they saw it was coming from a ...
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Magnus

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« Reply #51 on: Jul 05, 01, 06:20:49 am CDT »

From a strange looking ship. In fact it was the ship from the dream. A man at the top of the mast asked "Do you have any Grey Poupon?"

"What's that?" asked Shadow.

"Huh?" asked Alex.

"Right, then. Morons off the port bow. Gunner front and center!! Fire at Will!" said the man in the ship.

"There isn't anyone named Will down here, you dipstick!" retorted ALex.
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Magnus

"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."

johnians

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #52 on: Jul 05, 01, 09:17:35 am CDT »

paddling quickly under the prow of the ship, Alex and Shadow grabbed a stray rope and quickly climbed on deck.
 Alex finds a flare gun , carelessly left lying about and confronts the captain. "Here's to your Grey Poupon". Alec cries.. He fires the flare and off flies the captains hat in flames. The noise and light attracts a flock of seagulls.
Mistaking the captain and crewman for statues they do what birds do to statues. This gives Alex and Shadow time to raid the crews quarters for clothes. Taking control of the ship. They start the engine and head for what might be the nearest shore. Spotting  a lighthouse and tall cliffs, the made for an opening in the cliffface and a sandy beach.
They hauled the captain and his crewman out of the cabin.Alex and wired ahead for the local constabulary to haul them away on various chardges but the most important was the use of a phony British accent. Walking past the cliffs they caught a #5 bus to Santa Monica pier where the adventure had started out. "At last to be home", said Alex.
"Thanks for visiting me from back East, Shadow." As they approached the Pier, the bus door opened and...
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Magnus

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #53 on: Jul 05, 01, 12:05:36 pm CDT »

Alex stopped and turned towards Shadow and said "I thought you were going to get me laid?"
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Magnus

"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."

johnians

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #54 on: Jul 05, 01, 12:55:52 pm CDT »

"later Dude", This is LA, there's plenty action around. Especially in the Hollywood Hills, Movie stars,..." After grabbing their gear from the lockers, they rented a wreck and drove to the hills. " This looks like a great place. All those chicks on roller blades going by, we should see some action here." just then two girls stopped their blades and came over. They asked Shadow " What .....
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Magnus

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #55 on: Jul 05, 01, 11:52:33 pm CDT »

is this virgin doing hear?

Shadow told the ladies that he wanted to get laid and asked if they would do the boy too. "It will cost you both. We usually don't do virgins, but he's kinda cute and, well, we owe you one Shadow."
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Magnus

"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."

johnians

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Alexander's Wonderous Transformation
« Reply #56 on: Jul 06, 01, 01:08:09 pm CDT »

jumping in the rent a wreck they drove up to the Hollywood sign. "Who's going to be first and who is going to take the souvenir photos", the girls asked.
Alexander said "Darn I forgot the camera. Let me go get it first."
"Now I know why he is still a virgin." siad the girl with the pink skirt.
 ""Yeh said the other one. Why are you with him?
"Well... He"s my best bud and..."
"Losers , the both of you then", she said and the two girls skated off.
Alex returns with the camera.
"Where are the girls?  he said. Shadow replied" Don't even go there."
"Oh well I'll get a picture of the sign at least. Where i Almost lost my Amateur status." Flash, Bang!
A sky diver landed nearby. Taking his helmet off he was revealed to be ...
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Magnus

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« Reply #57 on: Jul 10, 01, 01:27:07 pm CDT »

the history professor. "Come you two. It is time to get back on track with this adventure. I have the map that is needed to get to the altar on the island. Now we just need to get to the island."

"But professor, we don't know what island it is," replied Alex.

"We do to. We just need to get a boat and a crew," said Shadow.

"Well then," said the Professor, " let's get going!"
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Magnus

"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."

johnians

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« Reply #58 on: Jul 11, 01, 11:41:23 am CDT »

Driving their car back to the Santa Monica pier. they turned it in and went onto the pier. A boat rental campany was there advertizing three hour cruises of the harbor. In a hurry they bought tickets and joined the rest of the passengers. Among the others were Ginger and Maryann. The Howels were an elderly couple, poor but nice and Ginger and mayann were their pet poodles.  The Skipper and his mate set off on the tour.  The motor suddely conked out and the skipper broak out the oars and started paddling to the nearest harbor island.
"Don't worry folks this happens all the Time. "My mate forgot as usual to fill the gas tanks." "I've got fuel stored on the island and we'll get back with no problem"
His mate thought to himself "Should I tell hime now?, Naw he'd only be madder at me now"
 They reached the island and Shadow , Alex, The professor, the Howels and their dogs Ginger and maryann and the skipper and his mate disembarked. "I'll go get the fuel and we'll be right off again". said the skipper. Alex asked the mate what he had been thinking before. Slowly the mate replied 'The captain ain't gonna like it but ....
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Magnus

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« Reply #59 on: Jul 12, 01, 04:10:23 pm CDT »

"We ain't got any fuel. I traded it to a couple of midgets dressed in green with an Irish accent for a pot of gold."

"WHAT?! You mean we are stuck on this damn Island?" queried Shadow. "How much was the gold worth, pipsqueak?"

"Who you callin a pipsqueak MR. I-can't-get-my-friend-laid? Anyway, it was worth $10,000,000,000. Do you think I would pass up the chance to be richer than Bill Gates?"
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"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."
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