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Author Topic: MR. Abby  (Read 508 times)

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biker

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MR. Abby
« on: Apr 11, 03, 07:51:28 pm CDT »

EVER WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF DEAR ABBY WAS A MAN?

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there
is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing - your best
friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together.
Why not get some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still
apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without
you.  If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him
a nice meal while you think about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Semen can help you loose weight and gives a great glow to
your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform
oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing
to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice
meal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The
Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night
out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a
more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your
relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to
clean the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he
returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you
and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess
with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to
videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as
a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and
cook him a delicious meal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
foreplay.  What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should;
He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so
selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and
cooking Him a nice meal, clean the house and iron his favorite pair of levis.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep
without giving me one.

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to
cook him a nice meal, clean house, and iron his favorite pair of levis.
Logged
"It is better to die for something then to live for nothing"
"A wise man once said a pen is mightier than a sword, Im pretty sure he had a pen up his ass because if it were a sword, he wouldnt be saying that."

King of the typos
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