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Author Topic: Things you would love to be able to say at work....  (Read 1531 times)

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  • Notorious Member (200 Posts)
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Things you would love to be able to say at work....
« on: Nov 06, 03, 11:31:22 pm CST »

Pay special attention to item 22   It is my favorite...

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet  it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message..
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a  word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't  give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your  mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions  I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by  your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is  purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
"Bringing a little chaos to your order..."
Naughty Redhead

"The surest way to stay out of trouble is to stop getting caught."

Witch Doctor of the good ship "Prometheus"
80.7% FaireFolk corrupt
Not the Potter

"Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference."


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Things you would love to be able to say at work....
« Reply #1 on: Nov 07, 03, 10:38:34 am CST »

Yeah... 6, 8, and 27 are amongst my favorites  :twisted:
"Vi Veri Vniversum Vivus Vici" ("By the power of truth, I, a living man, have conquered the universe"

"Religion is about faith, not evidence. Comparing science and religion isn't like comparing apples and oranges—it's more like apples and sewing machines." ~ Jack Horner


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Things you would love to be able to say at work....
« Reply #2 on: Nov 07, 03, 04:14:04 pm CST »

whenever i set up my booth i hand a sign stating my customer service policy

"We follow the Golden Rule
Therefore if you are rude to us we will assume YOU wish to be treated that way
Have A Nice Day!"

Curben Justic
#1112 Bristol Liaison



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Things you would love to be able to say at work....
« Reply #3 on: Nov 07, 03, 04:42:49 pm CST »

I used something similar to number one on one of my old bosses. Of course this is the same guy that pushed me!   :twisted:
Fergus "pussyfoot" McNorscie,
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