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Draco

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2003 Darwins...
« on: Dec 01, 03, 02:06:10 pm CST »

The Darwin Award Winner

 #1 When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
 during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot
 did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel  and
 tried the trigger again. This time it worked. :twisted:

 and now, the honorable mentions:

 #2 The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
 machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
 insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its
 men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a
 finger. The chef's claim was approved.

 #3 A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
 a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
 the space. Understandably, he shot her.

 #4 After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
 found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
 Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
 driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
 ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
 staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
 fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

 #5 An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from
 serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
 received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to
 see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

 #6 A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter,
 and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
 pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
 promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving
 the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
 drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a
 crime committed?)

 #7 A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
 carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE,
 MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F***-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent.
 Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over
 laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his
 gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief
 ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later
 put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze,
 mother-stickers, this is a F***-up!"

 #8 Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
 he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
 booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
 at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
 the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made
 of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

 #9 As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
 her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was
 able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes,
 the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove
 back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to
 stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's
 her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

 #10 The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

 #11 Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by
 running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck.
 Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled
 the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home.
 With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still
 attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached
 to the bumper. They were quickly arrested.

 #12 Finally, a 5-star stupidity award winner! When a man attempted to
 siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got   much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
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Phil McCupp

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Re: 2003 Darwins...
« Reply #1 on: Dec 01, 03, 10:28:07 pm CST »

Quote from: "Draco"
The Darwin Award Winner

 #1 When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
 during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot
 did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel  and
 tried the trigger again. This time it worked. :twisted:

Methinks Mr Elliot has watched waaaaaaaay too many Elmer Fudd cartoons.

 ::blowup::

and #6 sounds like one for the bar exam
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Thomas

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2003 Darwins...
« Reply #2 on: Dec 03, 03, 04:20:35 pm CST »

Is it just me, or are way to many of the people from the USA.
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2003 Darwins...
« Reply #3 on: Dec 03, 03, 04:23:58 pm CST »

We encourage breeding stupidity here. That's why they make everything idiot proof.
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Phil McCupp

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2003 Darwins...
« Reply #4 on: Dec 03, 03, 07:15:40 pm CST »

Quote from: "Thomas"
Is it just me, or are way to many of the people from the USA.


Now, now boys, actually there are plenty of foreign idjits who have generously removed themselves from the gene pool as well! http://www.darwinawards.com/

Including the brain trust in China who decided one day to deficate into a zoo's tiger exhibit!
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Jade

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2003 Darwins...
« Reply #5 on: Dec 04, 03, 02:00:12 am CST »

Ladies and gentlemen, I think that the posted Darwin Awards are further proof that we need to add more chlorine and or sock it to the gene pool.

Stupidity should be painful.
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Bonnie

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2003 Darwins...
« Reply #6 on: Dec 04, 03, 06:15:47 am CST »

Quote from: "Jade"
Ladies and gentlemen, I think that the posted Darwin Awards are further proof that we need to add more chlorine and or sock it to the gene pool.

Stupidity should be painful.


Sounds like it is, for some of these geniuses.  :lol:
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Locksley

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re
« Reply #7 on: Dec 04, 03, 07:16:31 am CST »

I noticed that none of them were ROGUES or WENCHES, coincidence? I dont think so.
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Gardo

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Re: re
« Reply #8 on: Dec 04, 03, 07:21:17 am CST »

Quote from: "Locksley"
I noticed that none of them were ROGUES or WENCHES, coincidence? I dont think so.


No we just talk those idiots into doin the stupid acts  :twisted:
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The 6th Rogue

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2003 Darwins...
« Reply #9 on: Dec 04, 03, 08:09:35 am CST »

I do think a Himbo made it to honerable mention once though.   :lol:

I still think may favorite is the Pakistanis that walked into a bar with a mine they found in the fields and played a Russian Roulette style drinking game with it IN THE BAR.

One finally got angry that is hadn't gone off yet after several rounds, put on the floor and proceeded to jump on it.  It finally went off.  Shame he was probably too drunk to feel it.
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2003 Darwins...
« Reply #10 on: Dec 04, 03, 12:23:51 pm CST »

My personal fav was the one that was told by John Boy and Billy one morning. A man(I think he was in AZ or WA) decided to rob a store. His first mistake was choosing Bob's Leather and Guns. His second mistake was having to walk around 3 marked police cars. His third mistake was to walk in shoot  twice in the air and announce "this is a stick up".

He WAS 31.

From what I remember, this was an area where most of the adults have concealed carry permits.
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Locksley

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2003 Darwins...
« Reply #11 on: Dec 04, 03, 12:55:57 pm CST »

I think number 4 got a bad rap...that was kinda clever.
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The 6th Rogue

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2003 Darwins...
« Reply #12 on: Dec 04, 03, 12:56:07 pm CST »

LOL...I like that one.  May the stupid rise to the top - where our gun sites have a clear view.

It might also have been Florida or Nevada.  They also have a proliferation of concealed carry permits, guns, leather and stupid people.
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Magnus1

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2003 Darwins...
« Reply #13 on: Dec 04, 03, 01:31:28 pm CST »

Quote from: "Jade"
My personal fav was the one that was told by John Boy and Billy one morning. A man(I think he was in AZ or WA) decided to rob a store. His first mistake was choosing Bob's Leather and Guns. His second mistake was having to walk around 3 marked police cars. His third mistake was to walk in shoot  twice in the air and announce "this is a stick up".

He WAS 31.

my favorite from the JB&B show was about the guy who saw a van parked in front of a conenience store with the driver's door open and the engine running. he decided this was too easy to pass up and hopped in to steal the van. what he didn't see was that the van was loaded with martial arts students returning from a tournament.  :eek:  his next mistake was stopping the van and trying to get out and run. he was VERY happy to see the cops roll up to rescue him from further ass whuppins
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