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Author Topic: Urban Dwarves  (Read 7957 times)

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Phil McCupp

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Urban Dwarves
« on: Feb 04, 04, 02:27:05 pm CST »

I saw my first Dwarf when I was working in Philadelphia taking the train to work. I saw him walking between Penn Center and the Broad Street Line like thousands of others, only much shorter. After that I saw him many times, but never getting on a train or off of a train. I amused myself by imagining that he was a Dwarf. Until one day...
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Tankus Maximus*
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*aka Phil McCupp
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johnians

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #1 on: Aug 28, 06, 03:25:22 pm CDT »

as I passed the Liberty Bell, I saw a dwarve coming out of Constitution Hall across the street. He stopped for a minute and
looked in my direction. But as I turned to look...
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Rogue#402, RenMerc #151, Bard #149

The Wizard

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #2 on: Oct 18, 07, 02:33:23 pm CDT »

...he had disappeared. This happened wherever I went, especially underground or at night, I kept seeing Dwarves when nobody else did. I finally decided to...
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johnians

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #3 on: Oct 19, 07, 12:56:53 pm CDT »

go to the Blue Boar Inn as I had heard the bartender there had posted a sign in his window saying "Dwarves served here". When I arrived at the pub...
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Rogue#402, RenMerc #151, Bard #149

The Wizard

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #4 on: Oct 19, 07, 03:09:36 pm CDT »

...I found that it was all a cruel joke. The Landlord had read the story "To Serve Man" and decided to serve Dwarves in the same way. The menu listed...
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johnians

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #5 on: Oct 21, 07, 09:43:23 pm CDT »

dwarf potato soup, blackened dwarf with asparagus sauce and a desert called rocky road dwarf. I left my table and rushed into the kitchen just in time to see the chef ...
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Rogue#402, RenMerc #151, Bard #149

The Wizard

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #6 on: Oct 22, 07, 09:54:33 am CDT »

(who was a Dwarf) baste a huge bird. It was an Ostrich! "What the h*ll is going on?!" I shouted. He grinned and said "It's just our sense of humor. Our meats are very special, very rare, and usually from endangered species. Our 'Jerked Dwarf', for example, is really..."
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johnians

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #7 on: Oct 22, 07, 02:51:05 pm CDT »

road-kill kangaroo, that way we get around the endangered species act put in force by your government. Since we are so numerous around the world we are usually in the vicinity of tomorrows "Daily Special".
As a graduate of the DCI (Dwarf Culinary Institute) I can assure you that...
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Rogue#402, RenMerc #151, Bard #149

The Wizard

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #8 on: Oct 29, 07, 11:57:33 am CDT »

...the taste and quality of our dishes is superb. The Crocodile is freshest today because Paul Hogan is busy with his latest movie but we also have Llama, Gnu, and ...
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The 6th Rogue

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #9 on: Oct 30, 07, 08:48:30 am CDT »

...I heartily recommend the Long Pork, imported all the way from the Shire this time around.  Oh, wait.  What's that?
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johnians

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #10 on: Oct 30, 07, 09:13:27 am CDT »

One of the chefs called out from the kitchen "Cancel the Long Pork, it's past its' expiration date. Nothing to do but send it to the tannery over on 4th Street. I heard some Rogue needs a new belt. We did get some porcupine quill soup made". He went back to the kitchen and ...
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Rogue#402, RenMerc #151, Bard #149

The Wizard

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #11 on: Oct 31, 07, 12:56:48 pm CDT »

...I heard vomiting from behind me in the Dining Room. "That customer must have been eating the Long Pork," said the Chef, "I guess it really HAD expired."

I gasped and asked "But isn't 'Long Pork'..."

"...Supposed to be Human beings?" interrupted the Chef. "It's just another one of my little jokes. It's really pork-flavored Anaconda, hence 'Long' and 'Pork', but don't worry, our Amazon Jungle supplier assures me that...
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Gardo

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #12 on: Nov 01, 07, 10:47:59 am CDT »

and then they died


~ Thee end
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johnians

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #13 on: Nov 01, 07, 11:00:55 am CDT »

"Pardon me," I said to the  diner who was reading the last page of his mystey novel "Did you try the
special antipasto on the menu - Pepi LePew? I heard it's quite tasty when combined with the shreaded crow". He looked up from his book and...
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Rogue#402, RenMerc #151, Bard #149

BlackTalon

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #14 on: Aug 09, 09, 01:27:20 am CDT »

Made a heartfelt request for the local Bards to play....
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Private Rauol D'Lackey

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Re: Urban Dwarves
« Reply #15 on: Aug 09, 09, 07:48:12 am CDT »

...And the dwarf said.."Look at the fucking newb rezing a dead thread!"

and I had such high hopes when our other newb avoided doing this.
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WFR - People are stupid
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