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Author Topic: Who's Your Daddy  (Read 2329 times)

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Nokose

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Who's Your Daddy
« on: Sep 22, 05, 12:29:41 pm CDT »

Who's Your Daddy?

When someone puts in for Child Support, the proper thing to do is to find out who the father is and see why he is not providing support.

The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing 'father'

Here are excerpts from the forms. The Winnah is # 11.


1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? .... Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks men look the same to me.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well I don't have a clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Yep, you guessed it right. You are all paying taxes to support these dim bulbs.
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It's just a matter of semantics. 
You call it a drinking problem, and I call it a reality exit strategy.

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Perin

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Re: Who's Your Daddy
« Reply #1 on: Sep 22, 05, 12:48:01 pm CDT »

Quote from: "Nokose"
The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing 'father'


The scariest part of this is people will get this and think these were real responses...
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shadow

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Who's Your Daddy
« Reply #2 on: Sep 22, 05, 12:50:22 pm CDT »

you mean its not real?
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Perin

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Who's Your Daddy
« Reply #3 on: Sep 22, 05, 12:56:44 pm CDT »

Quote from: "shadow"
you mean its not real?


Oh, I'm sure they are all 100% true.  My uncle's barber's sister's brother-in-law works for the Texas welfare department and he assured me these were real.   :roll:
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shadow

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Who's Your Daddy
« Reply #4 on: Sep 22, 05, 12:58:10 pm CDT »

:P
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Rogue # 1003
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Concedo Nulli - Surrender to none
Weary O`Fools
Master Gunner - The Wench's Pride
O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

Death be lighter than a feather Duty heavier than a mountain

Nokose

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Re: Who's Your Daddy
« Reply #5 on: Sep 22, 05, 01:13:46 pm CDT »

Quote from: "Perin"
Quote from: "Nokose"
The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing 'father'


The scariest part of this is people will get this and think these were real responses...


Well... I looked on "snopes" and it wasn't listed..soo. :roll:

I probably should have put a smiley on it but I didn't think it was necessary.
It was pulled from another forum with a "humor/odd stories" topic.
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It's just a matter of semantics. 
You call it a drinking problem, and I call it a reality exit strategy.

 "Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

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warlock

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Who's Your Daddy
« Reply #6 on: Sep 22, 05, 01:29:50 pm CDT »

Why would the woman not name tha father so she could get the Child support paymnets and drive the father into the poor house?
Oh I know she must still like him or maybe he is unemployed.
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MadMim

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Who's Your Daddy
« Reply #7 on: Sep 22, 05, 01:52:38 pm CDT »

Quote from: "warlock"
Why would the woman not name tha father so she could get the Child support paymnets and drive the father into the poor house?
Oh I know she must still like him or maybe he is unemployed.


Try tracking down three SCAdian males that might be the father of a child (had do assist in this process once). When she found out she was prego, she had a list of three fake names, one she knew the household of and one was someone's cabin boy, one she knew was a bard and the other, she just had a name. The actual process of finding mundane names, let alone an address and/or telephone number they could be reaced at was insane and took quite awhile. And that's in a society where someone is bound to know who you are talking about eventually.

Now imagine trying to find 'that guy named Doug who was at that party we went to in Seattle'.  

Sometimes women just don't know, and for the ones who don't, they deal with the consequences of having [pseudo]anonymous sex.
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Sarah

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Who's Your Daddy
« Reply #8 on: Sep 22, 05, 01:55:03 pm CDT »

hehehehe... given the contact that I've had with Dallas women, yeah, those should be real.   However, I've seen these before in a circulating email joke.
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Nokose

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Who's Your Daddy
« Reply #9 on: Sep 22, 05, 02:01:44 pm CDT »

Yah I threw it to my search eng. and it popped up a bunch of sites with this on em.

Never underestimate the ability of people to do dum stuff tho.
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It's just a matter of semantics. 
You call it a drinking problem, and I call it a reality exit strategy.

 "Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

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Annabella St. Clair

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Who's Your Daddy
« Reply #10 on: Sep 22, 05, 09:48:10 pm CDT »

In real life I'm a social worker. I've heard some very interesting stories about who is the baby's daddy. We have a hallway at court that they do DNA testing, it's hallway B, you know, the "baby daddy" hallway.  When I was going through U of M I never thought for a minute that "baby daddy" would be part of my daily lexicon.

I have had people tell me they were raped, pregnant, and lost the baby the week they were suppose to have them. And this was a women who I found out later had her tubes tied years before.

My favorite stories are those from people who have tested positive for some substance.  

Annabella
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Annabella St. Clair

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Who's Your Daddy
« Reply #11 on: Sep 27, 05, 12:20:10 pm CDT »

Soylet green...the more I think about it the more people I'd like to volunteer.   :lol:
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Nokose

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Who's Your Daddy
« Reply #12 on: Sep 27, 05, 04:59:49 pm CDT »

I have a friend who works for Pardons and Paroles, she told me that an
induhvidual came by for his monthly drug test.  The officer gave him the
box and asked him to turn out his pockets.  About the third thing out was
his bag o dope.  The officer just looked at him for a second and said "You make my job too easy" and led him away..

Ya gotta wonder...what IS in the water??
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It's just a matter of semantics. 
You call it a drinking problem, and I call it a reality exit strategy.

 "Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

1313

The 6th Rogue

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Who's Your Daddy
« Reply #13 on: Sep 28, 05, 07:49:23 am CDT »

Quote from: "Nokose"
Ya gotta wonder...what IS in the water??


Their brains because they certainly aren't in their heads.
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King Nerd of Dorkshire.
I'm here to keep the place from being boring.
"Hey, I'm the Doctor, I can save the universe with a kettle and some string...and look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable!"
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