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Author Topic: The Long Road  (Read 3525 times)

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Magnus

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The Long Road
« on: Oct 25, 08, 04:43:41 pm CDT »

"When I was a wee lad, I had to go pee mad. When I was green dad, he went to pee mad."

This damn thing keeps going around in my head and I can't get it out.

Oh sorry introductions should be first, n'cest pas?

My name is Boner. Harry Boner, and I'm here to fuck *hand clap, and finger point* you up.

No not really. You see I've been in this prison camp for 4 years now. I've been locked away in solitary for most of this last year and I'm about ready to break. This camp is meant for the best of the best of the Resistance. The ones that are so valuable to the movement that we could turn tide of the War just by showing up.

My real name is Harrison "T-Bone" Potter. And I am fighting to free the Earth from the ravages of Xanas. And to get laid as much as possible. This is my story.
« Last Edit: Oct 25, 08, 04:45:52 pm CDT by Magnus »
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Magnus

"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one."

Dragonamant

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Re: The Long Road
« Reply #1 on: Nov 05, 08, 05:03:04 pm CST »

I shouldn't have to explain the Xanas, because every human still living - especially me -fears them. The long-limbed statuesque beauties arrived from some far off world, climbed out of their shiny spaceship - wearing tight leather push-up corsets, sporting NipTuck cleavage, and wearing thigh-high leather boots with long, spiked heels.

Hell, the army boys that rushed out to secure the first contact site, took one look and just walked right up to greet them with their tongues lolled out, almost drooling over the space hotties. That's when we found out they didn't care much for men, despite that fact just the sight of them creates an irresistible desire in us. (Pheremones, we think.) Anyway, each of them carried a matched set of saber-styled swords that could slice through granite like a laser beam through air. We still don't know the technology that created those weapons, but they will cut anything. The Army guys looked like a ton of deli cut meat when the Xanas finished slicin' and dicin'. Of course, if you're close enough for them to use the swords, you're a goner anyway, but hey, I'm just trying to leave a little info for posterity, n'cest pas?

Long range, they have orbital scanners watching everything. If it finds something, you might see the bright light for about a second before there's a charred spot where you had been standing.  Luckily, the RBN developed a personal cloaking field that occludes the signal without showing up a void. I hate them damn Russian mobsters, but they are the best хакерs left.

Turns our the Xanas are as attracted to our women as much as most of us guys are attracted to them. And once they've had one of them, the woman just isn't the same. So between sexing up all the women and killing all the men, the whole human race thing is in some serious deep shit.

Of course the women are their weakness. Well, mine too to be honest. Our insurgent cell has 4 guys and 16 women. There are others, but we try to operate independently to hide our tracks. For us to resist the allure of the Xanas, we all have to keep ourselves sexually exhausted. After we're sated, we lure in one or two Xanas with the girls, get them someplace private and then before anything irreversible happens, we spring the trap and catch them with their corsets down, as it were.

Of course they caught us after a while. I guess we intrigued them enough not to kill us yet.
« Last Edit: Nov 05, 08, 05:11:21 pm CST by Dragonamant »
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Sticks and stones canna brake me bones, but scotch takes me pain away.
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