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The 6th Rogue

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Say what?
« on: Nov 20, 11, 04:46:09 pm CST »

I was thinking about some of the things that made Faire so worth the price of admission (especially when I got snuck in for free) and right at the top of the list was the dialog.  No, not among the actors, but among us pinned a-holes and other regular type jack wagons.  Stuff like this:
(after a prolonged arguement about how to make something):

Yeah, but why'd you do it like that?
(singing) Because I did it myyyyyyyyyyyy waaaaaaaaaay!
Oh, so you did it wrong on purpose then?
 
What odd conversations, put downs or set up and slams do you remember making your day in garb funnier?
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Private Rauol D'Lackey

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Re: Say what?
« Reply #1 on: Nov 20, 11, 07:13:45 pm CST »

MY god. To many to remember. I worked the Fencing booth at the NJ faire and our goal was to abuse people so they would fight us or get them to fight their friends. We were brutal on occasion.
 
There was this one white kid who had an afro. So I challenge the boy (well like 17-19) with the fro. He responded he did not have a fro. I looked over at two african american gentlemen and said. "hey doesn't the white boy over there have a fro?" They both burst out laughing and agreed he did indeed have a fro.
 
One of the african american gentlemen also had a great shirt, sword and baldric, but he was wearing jeans and sneakers! I questioned why the hell he would dress like that and asked f the rest of his outfit was on layaway. I then proceeded to refer to him as Lord Layaway for the rest of the day. His GF and the couple with him loved it.
 
Ummm.. one of our standard bits is to challege someone to a duel using various lines we had. I went through our spiel on one guy and his response was, " I would, but I am blind" Yup I missed the damn red and white cane he was carrying. (Guy was legally bling with
Severe tunnel vision). Everyone in the regiment looked at me in horror because I just asked the blind huy to a sword fight. So to recover I said. "No problem. We will blind fold me and make it a fair fight!" Damn guy said ok!
 
So here I am fighting a guy who can only see for like 10 degerees directly in front of himself and me totaly blind with someone in the regiment telling me directiosn on where the other guy is. Was a great fight a drew a huge crowd. Best line of the fight was " He is to your left. NO your OTHER left!"
 
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noJ

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Re: Say what?
« Reply #2 on: Nov 21, 11, 07:53:35 am CST »

I never worked at faire, but my wife and I try to go several times a season and other area faires when we can. Usually I'll interact with cast members and even patrons when I hear comments or find an excuse to say something really dirty.
 
We walked into NYRF and there was a cast member jerking her sword up and down her frog and I told her that her skill was exceptional and to call for me when the sword got tired. She said, "I love a hard challenge!" I told her, "with those skills, you can keep me up for a while." That's when my wife gave me the dirty look and eye roll and the girl gave a wiseass smirk and a quick wave. That set the pace for the day.
 
Another time was when Emo was introduced at the final joust, he rode over to the corner where we were and he was yelling and spitting at the crowd. I yelled at to him to shut up and put on his purple helmet, his colors are purple and white for those who do not know, and he yelled back, "I WILL!" Then, I turned to some of the people around me and asked them if they thought he realized I just called him a dick head. They all laughed pretty hard, no pun intended.
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The 6th Rogue

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Re: Say what?
« Reply #3 on: Nov 21, 11, 09:31:39 am CST »

A LARP I used to play had players and cast.  People were encouraged to play as a cast member for a game or two so they get a better idea of how things work.  One guy started as cast and stayed that way but he had a memorable moment of dialog due to the fact that he thought he was an excellent fencer and the player he was about to have a duel with, unbeknownst to him, was one of the best fencers on the East Coast.  The dialog went like this:

N00b: (shouted) If you believe in an afterlife prepare yourself to depart for it!
N00b: (motions Richie to come closer) (whispered) I'm not supposed to win this fight.
Richie: Oh, don't worry, you won't.

Richie mopped the floor with the guy, taunting him all the while.  He did it so well he almost ended up with a minion in real life.
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"Hey, I'm the Doctor, I can save the universe with a kettle and some string...and look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable!"

The 6th Rogue

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Re: Say what?
« Reply #4 on: Nov 21, 11, 09:48:20 am CST »

Not to toot my own horn (but if you're that flexible why leave the house) but this was one of mine:

Different LARP.  We had this one fuckwit that would show up around 11pm on Saturday night after registration was closed.  Bitch about everyone going to bed around 2am because he wanted to play.  Eat three helpings of brunch Sunday morning and race out of there before the people running the game could catch up with him and demand money and that he fill out the paperwork.  He'd also play in jeans, a chain shirt, a jesters hat and brag about his SCA standings.  No one really cared about that part nor believed him.

One Sunday he was shooting his mouth off and following people as they left the table he sat at to the table they moved to.  I was the subject of his current tirade because a few players had been talking about how scary a boss fight monster I was the night before.  He couldn't have this and started smack talking.  The fact that I and my boffo katana were sitting back to back with him totally escaped his perception.  I let him go on for a few minutes while some of my friends looked on wondering why I wasn't doing anything until I finished my coffee, stood up, picked up my sword, turned around and dropped it on the table infront of him.

"What the fuck?"
"Let's see if there's enough in your account to back up that check your mouth just wrote."
"What?  Why?"
"You've been smack talking about me and half the other people in this room and you have to ask why?  Grab your swords and we're going outside."
"Well, I'm a Duke in the SCA.  I'd better only take one sword and..."
"Nope.  Prefered weapons.  You're going two stick like normal so you can't claim the handicap.  Be glad I don't enforce Tuchux rules."
"What's that?"
"Oh, so you aren't really a member of the SCA then.  Grab your boffo.  Outside.  Now."

The gibbering asshat finally went outside after a few of my larger LARPing friends offered to help him outside.  He was still trying to back talk and I just stood in a short cat stance en guard and waited.  Finally he asked if I was going to start and I told him I was waiting for him to shut up and either shit his pants or swing.  That got a laugh and prompted him to come at me.

To say I fought to humiliate him would be accurate.  To say I did would be more accurate.  I'm pretty sure God's forgiven me for enjoying every single second of it.  By the time we were done he grabbed his stuff, hopped in his car and left.  We didn't see him at that LARP again and I think he left his jester cap behind for the owners of the LARP to burn.
 
I don't believe that a zebra ever fully changes its stripes so I'm pretty sure by the time he got home he had it worked up in his head that things went differently but that's how I remember it as does all the witnesses who were cheering me on and laughing at the guy with every disarm and every hit.  BTW - dumb ass called 'light, doesn't count' on the first few shots I landed so I started going SCA strong before I amped up again to not holding back at all.
« Last Edit: Nov 21, 11, 09:51:53 am CST by The 6th Rogue »
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King Nerd of Dorkshire.
I'm here to keep the place from being boring.
"Hey, I'm the Doctor, I can save the universe with a kettle and some string...and look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable!"

Private Rauol D'Lackey

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Re: Say what?
« Reply #5 on: Nov 21, 11, 11:10:21 am CST »

Ahhhh...gotta love the asshats.


We always loved when couples fault. We always explain to the guy that he is going to lose. Either he loses the fight orhe wins the fit against his Gf/wife, at whichpointhewillbe losing later in the evening.


One guy did not take the hint and went after
 his gf. I mean he was atacking her like she owed the mob money. Well after the fight we told him how great he was and how impressed we were. We then told him he won a free fight. At ehich point Jody, our female fencer, kstepped into the ring and proceeded to embarash the hell ot of the guy. A normal fight is 3 points. Think we let this one go to like 7.  It ended up 7 to 0.

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The 6th Rogue

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Re: Say what?
« Reply #6 on: Nov 21, 11, 11:32:08 am CST »

One of the years I worked NYRF I also camped out there some of the weekends just to enjoy the camp ground parties.  One morning I was waiting on breakfast when up comes one of the other guys looking like he not only drank everything he could find the night before but really took a hammer to the back of the head before he went to bed.  I grumbled a "mornin" at him and got a perfect Scotch "D'och" right back at me.  I told him I admired his dedication to character but it wasn't even breakfast yet. 

"Izzat so?" he asked, still with the accent.  "Some oh us think ye're the ones talkin all funny like."  It took a couple minutes but he convinced me that he was from Glasgow...or had the best line of bullshit and the practice back it up.  I asked him about his observations on speaking the same language differently and he launched into the funniest improved discertation I've ever heard.

"Oootside Scootland ye o'ercomplicate the language.  The closest I've seen to how we get by back home is when I was workin So. Cal and they used 'dude' like we use another word."
"Which word is that?"
"Ye've haird it: D'och."
"Care to provide a few common uses?"
"Sure..."
He went on for 20 minutes and had us all laughing until we were ready to puke using "D'och" as a perfect replacement for every possible, mood, question, answer, scenario, etc.  To this day I think about that moment in my life and smile.  The man was gifted.
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King Nerd of Dorkshire.
I'm here to keep the place from being boring.
"Hey, I'm the Doctor, I can save the universe with a kettle and some string...and look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable!"
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