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Author Topic: Medieval pick-up lines NOT to use  (Read 7830 times)

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katejustkate

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Medieval pick-up lines NOT to use
« on: Dec 19, 01, 10:18:31 am CST »

Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?"

"Been there, slain that."

"What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?"

"They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know."

"When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched."

"Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor."

Wench: "What's that sound?" Knight: "That's just the sound of my chainmail drawers expanding."

"Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!"

"Your hovel or mine?"

"Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in action?"

"Dost thou practice safe hex?"

"Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within."

"I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart."

"You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been ravaged and plundered by now."

"I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!"

"Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?"

"You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends on it!!"

"My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it."

"I've been very naughty. You'll have to put me in the stocks and...er...punish me, now won't you?"

"You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Rapunzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down."

"I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady."

"C'mon, sweetie...didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away."

"I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?"


Bwahaahahahahahahahaha

Kate IWG #655 (the Neighbor of the Beast..who says he wants some Mondiack Mead for Christmas..)
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Magnus

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« Reply #1 on: Dec 19, 01, 11:33:27 am CST »

I ain't touching this one.
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Magnus

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moira

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« Reply #2 on: Dec 19, 01, 12:18:18 pm CST »

the scary thing is, i actually had a few of these used on me this past season. soooo scary...

moira
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Aramis

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« Reply #3 on: Dec 19, 01, 12:40:39 pm CST »

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm



nah, too cheesy even for me ;)
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Fisty

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« Reply #4 on: Dec 19, 01, 05:02:43 pm CST »

i'll stick with my own. I am a Pirate perpare to be boarded and pillaged.
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KenderMom

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« Reply #5 on: Dec 19, 01, 10:43:13 pm CST »

I have 2 1/2 pages of these...  Want some more?
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« Reply #6 on: Dec 20, 01, 05:09:38 am CST »

Those were um,... Um,... well interesting, yeah, thats it, interesting.......
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katejustkate

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YAY KENDERMOM
« Reply #7 on: Dec 20, 01, 10:00:20 am CST »

Toss them up sweetie !

Kate IWG # 655 MCL ( The Neighbor of the beast..who said he's partial to custard pie !)
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KenderMom

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« Reply #8 on: Dec 20, 01, 11:53:46 pm CST »

Give me a little while and I will dig them out this weekend, 'K?
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katejustkate

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« Reply #9 on: Dec 21, 01, 07:54:01 am CST »

OK !

This should be fun !!!


Kate IWG#655 ( The Neighbor of the Beast..who said he can't find any frickin Harry Potter Lego's anywhere !!!!!)
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Annette

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« Reply #10 on: Dec 21, 01, 05:25:17 pm CST »

I still like "Nice boots"
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Talan

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Awww c'mon...
« Reply #11 on: Dec 21, 01, 05:35:35 pm CST »

Not that I'd ever use such cheesy lines...I have my own cheesy ones already, I have to admit that
"My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it."
was fairly clever. ;)
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KenderMom

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Medieval pick-up lines NOT to use
« Reply #12 on: Dec 23, 01, 10:28:05 pm CST »

Well, here's the list that I have...  there may be repeats, but don't whine, cause I'm typing from hard copy

"Your hovel or mine?"

"Pestilence makes the heart go wander."

"Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my longsword in action?"

"Every second of every hour of every day is like a thousand knives of fire stabbing me in the heart.  I long for thee incessantly, so much that mine sorrow seems without surcease.  My alliteration is small comfort next to the warm gaze of thine azure eyes.  I crave the comfort of thine embrace like some lost child cold and alone in the dark...  So, you wanna [email protected]%$ ???"

"You wanna go upstairs and see my Holy Grail?"

"I like the cut of your jib"

Wizard:  "You know, my hat isn't the only thing that's pointed."

"Thy breastplate is wonderous!  Wouldst thou hold my polearm whilst I attempt to light thy fire?"

"I had to swim the moat to get to you fair maiden.  So, would you like to see my breaststroke?"

"Thou hast hit me harder than the Black Plague!"

"Why don't we go back to my place and re-enact the Miller's Tale?"

"You won't believe this, but St. George appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you - the fate of England depends on it!!"

"Ever see a passion play?  Would you like to?"

Don't believe the rumors you heard about me...  the Bubonic Plague didn't effect the important parts."

Thus concludes part 1...  Stay tuned for the rest!!!  LOL
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Keltik

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« Reply #13 on: Dec 24, 01, 10:05:42 am CST »

Quote
Orginally posted by katejustkate

   "I've been very naughty. You'll have to put me in the stocks and...er...punish me, now won't you?"




no comment... none... really.... :P
*ahhh*   the memories of rose tag...... *WEG*

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KenderMom

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« Reply #14 on: Dec 27, 01, 11:46:23 pm CST »

Hey!!!  does anyone want the rest of these, or should they stay on hard copy, where they belong?
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Chancelot

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« Reply #15 on: Dec 30, 01, 02:54:11 pm CST »

:p :p :p :p :p

>>>Pardon me Milady, my sword is bent...can you straighten it for me<<<

I used it on a girl I knew from High School and the scary thing is she said YES:O :O :O


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Fisty

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« Reply #16 on: Dec 30, 01, 10:29:38 pm CST »

hell yah tell us them all. i know people who may could use them.
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KenderMom

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Medieval pick-up lines NOT to use
« Reply #17 on: Dec 31, 01, 12:09:29 am CST »

Like a mare, I can be ridden for hours

How, you ask, did I get up here to your balcony?  Well, I espied you from yonder garden.  In an instant, my, er, heart was swelled with lus... er, love.  I had to meet you!  So I ranneth over but tripped on a stone thusly pole-vaulting into your arms.

C'mon sweetie...  Didn't your mother tell you?  A cleric a day keeps the black plague away.

Yes fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard.  Shall I make your clothes disappear?

I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch.  Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?

What a fine gown you wear, my lady.  Perchance couldst I talk you out of it?

You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Repunnzel.  Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down

A day just wouldn't be complete without a Knight

I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, M'Lady

What say ye we have our own Norman conquest, Lass

Come up to my chamber and I'll show you the largest treasure in the land

You can place your greeves under my pallet anytime

Hey, big boy, how would you like to help this maiden out of dis-dress?

Wanna polish my pike?

Ello, Milady, thou art under siege.  I shall scale thy battlements with mine grappling hook

My Lady, dost thou possess a looking glass in thine bodice?  For I may surely see myself within their folds.

Has anyone ever told you that you have a lovely wimple?

May I show you a fascinating Saracaen ritual I learned while hiding in a harem after Hattin?

A world without day is gloomy indeed, but a world without Knight would be pure misery

Milady, its not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within

I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart

Mayest I hose down your doublet?

Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight.  Lower your drawbridge and let me cross.

You should be glad I'm not a Viking.  You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.

What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?

You can scale my battlements any day, madam.

You scratch my boils and I'll scratch yours.

They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.

My that's a fine set of chalices you have there

Ssh, I don't want everyone to know I'm on a secret holy quest.

When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only things they stretched.

OK, kids, thats all.  enjoy!
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