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More Debauchery => The Storyboard => Topic started by: Magnus on May 28, 01, 07:49:46 pm CDT

Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on May 28, 01, 07:49:46 pm CDT
Christian was always looking for something new. She had it all. The cars. The men. The money. The only thing that she couldn't get was the perfect soup spoon. Try as she might, she never could get the right one. Too shiny, to dull, not big enough. It just never ends. Where can I get another one?
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Rusty on May 28, 01, 08:02:23 pm CDT
Her quest led her to every restaurant within driving distance... but yet, no matter how many spoons she pilferred, she just could never find the "right" one.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Gareth on May 28, 01, 08:27:10 pm CDT
She kept them in a locked cedar chest in the pantry. Every so often she would drag the heavy chest into the kitchen and sit crosslegged on the floor in front of it. With nothing but candle light dancing about the room, her vigil would begin. Sitting there in her nightshirt, she would stare for a long time at the reddish streaks of grain in the wood, making scenes in her mind like a child staring up at the clouds in a grassy field.

Eventually, when her legs would start to tingle with sleep, she would draw the large brass key from the leather thong that hung constantly from her neck. Slowly she would turn the key until the lock would suddenly give with an audible click. Placing the key back around her neck, Christian would then lift the lid of the chest until it's contents winked at her from their resting place.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on May 28, 01, 09:30:17 pm CDT
Sometimes, she could here them calling out to her. It just didn't seem right that silverware could talk. That is why she kept them in the chest. They couldn't talk to her there.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Gareth on May 28, 01, 11:41:55 pm CDT
Christian didn't know how long she stared transfixed at the rows of silver and gold. It was like that everytime. She would open the chest and the spoons would... not talk... sing. Yes, that's it. The spoons sang to her. A glorious melody of such unrestrained beauty as to make the songbirds in the trees grow still.

Lovingly, she removed each utensil, inspecting it closely for any signs of tarnish or dust, and vigorously polishing away any such offense with a special cloth. She then laid each piece on a soft towel with great care until the chest sat empty before her.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on May 28, 01, 11:54:22 pm CDT
And yet all her polishing and loving care was in vain, for Christian still did not have the perfect soup spoon. Pondering this peculiarity, Christian decided to list the characteristics she thought necessary in the perfect soup spoon.

NEXT?

Ariel
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on May 29, 01, 12:01:11 am CDT
She dug out her note pad and pen and started writing.

1.  Silver
2.  Have a lovely tenor. Must be able to sing first tenor.
3.  Have a nice round head and be able to handle to hot liquids


With this list, she felt sure that she could find the perfect soup spoon. She knew that she had to do something more than make a list though. Then it hit her. SHe would do what that 'Tomb Raider' chick did. She would go on an adventure!!
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on May 29, 01, 12:04:45 am CDT
But then Christian remembered something. She wasn't nearly as good looking as Angelina Jolie and she didn't have a movie deal. Christian decided she was just going to have to have a normal adventure without the guns and violence and hot guys. After all, she was searching for the perfect spoon, not trying to save the world.

Next?
Ariel
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on May 29, 01, 12:10:00 am CDT
No she wasn't going to save the world. And she already had the hot guys. And as for looking like Angelina Jolie, Angelina would have to try and keep up. She did have the cool toys though. It helps when daddy is a billionaire.

She headed down to her Land Rover and got ready to leave, when suddenly.....
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on May 29, 01, 12:42:29 am CDT
When suddenly she remembered she had forgotten her keys. "Damn," she muttered running back into the house. Snatching her keys she raced back to her land rover and hopped in. Heading for the highway Christian checked her reflection in the mirror. "Damn, I look good today," she thought.
Driving along the road Christian picked her first destination. It was...

Next?
Ariel
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on May 29, 01, 12:45:49 am CDT
McDonald's. She just had a craving for a Big Mac. She hit drive thru and was off to her next stop.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Hallertauer on May 29, 01, 10:09:09 am CDT
While driving she put her hand into the bag of McDonalds and hauled out her big breakfast. Thats when she first saw the "SPORK"...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on May 29, 01, 10:55:54 am CDT
Curiously looking at the spork she wondered aloud, "What the hell is this?" Knowing that it wasn't the perfect soup spoon she tossed it out her open window and continued her search. She decided her next stop would be the copa cabana club. It was the hottest club north of havana so it had to have some really good soup spoons there.


Next?
Ariel
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: shadow on May 29, 01, 11:00:45 am CDT
ON the way she noticed a sign for the best little whorehouse in texas.  How odd she thought i live in North Dakota.  Needless to say she stopped in on the house knowing that spoons galore could be found in a place such as this
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on May 29, 01, 11:09:59 am CDT
Spoons and dirty old men. That's what she would find. And if there was one thing Christian loved, it was spoons. Stepping into the whorehouse Christian saw a stage lit by gaudy lights with a topless dancer on it. There were only two other people in the joint and one was the bartender. Looking around Christian spied a door, which she thought for sure would lead to the kitchens where she could check out the spoons. However it wasn't the kitchen she stepped into upon going through that door.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Hallertauer on May 29, 01, 11:50:27 am CDT
Quote
Spoons and dirty old men. That's what she would find. And if there was one thing Christian loved, it was spoons. Stepping into the whorehouse Christian saw a stage lit by gaudy lights with a topless dancer on it. There were only two other people in the joint and one was the bartender. Looking around Christian spied a door, which she thought for sure would lead to the kitchens where she could check out the spoons. However it wasn't the kitchen she stepped into upon going through that door.
She came face to face with a ten-foot drooling grizzly bear, quickly she reached for her trusty 9mm automatic and unloaded the entire clip in to the bears forehead, the bear fell to the floor with a thump. The ringing in her ears would not stop shaking her head she realized the ringing was her alarm clock and this had all been a dream…
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on May 29, 01, 11:52:23 am CDT
"Well that was a stupid dream," Christian thought clambering out of bed. "Now I have to start my quest for the perfect soup spoon all over again." Just then the doorbell rang.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Danae on May 29, 01, 12:14:27 pm CDT
She was almost inclined to ignore it, after all, she wasn't dressed to have company, but she figured, "what the hell".  Throwing a robe on, she went to the door, only to find that nobody was there.  "Hmm," she thought, and opened the door.

There, on the front step, was a box.  Not being terribly clever first thing in the morning, she grabbed the box and took it inside.  She sat down on the floor of the hallway and opened it.  Inside, she found a map and a letter.  So, she opened the letter and read:
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on May 29, 01, 01:59:00 pm CDT
And read an ad for The Best Little Whore House in Texas. It contained something of interest to her. The have the best soup in all North Dakota. She thought I need to get me some of that. SO she pack her bags and was off.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on May 29, 01, 03:34:09 pm CDT
But something puzzled her about the strange box. Just who had sent it to her? And why would they send her a map to the best little whorehouse when she had just dreamt about it? One thing was sure, if she was going to run into a grizzly bear she just wasn't gonna go through any doors alone. So dressing hurriedly, Christian ran out the door and hopped into her land rover. Then she ran back inside for her keys. But eventually she was on the road and headed to...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on May 29, 01, 04:25:47 pm CDT
She had to stop at Tobin-Barney's Gas and Grub for some petrol, the tank was almost empty, and besides his food is better than Micky D's anyday.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on May 29, 01, 06:06:53 pm CDT
After filling her tank and grabbing some grub to go, Christian hopped back into her land rover. Then she ran back inside the mart to get the keys she left on the counter. As she was doing so she heard a news bulliten on the store radio. Apparently someone had robbed an antiques store of most of its flatware. "Curious," she thought. "I wonder if they stole all the spoons." Just then the radio announcer said, "Apparently the thief was looking for a certain spoon because there were none left on the knife and fork strewn store floor."
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Tobin-Ru on May 29, 01, 10:46:47 pm CDT
Nutz, she thought, now I have to find these bastards and see if they have MY perfect soup spoon.  With that, she was off, moving faster than a greased ninja on a slip-n-slide.......
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Gareth on May 30, 01, 07:36:47 am CDT
Christian arrived at the antique store to find door locked and sealed with bright yellow police tape. Frustrated, she turned to leave when the tinkling of glass on concrete caught her attention. She traced the sound to a nearby alley. With only the briefest of nods towards caution, she strode out of the sunlight and in to the shadowy alleyway.

Christian's head told her she shouldn't be here. She should have just gotten back in her Land Rover and gone home. Isn't that what a good girl would do? Regardless, her mind whispered, she certainly shouldn't be heading down a dark, alleyway all alone with no weapons or self-defense training. Besides her...

<tinkle, tinkle>

There it was again... just up ahead. Someone, or something, had kicked a bottle along the cracked cement.

Steeling herself, Christian boldly marched further into the depths. Wondering if whatever was in there could hear her heart slamming against her chest.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: shadow on May 30, 01, 10:14:37 am CDT
It was a clown......She had ran into a gang of clowns.  As they sat in a cirlce tasting and touching and smelling the spoons they had stolen.  They were all beautiful spoons.  and all the spoons cried out to christian.  and the clowns turned and looked at christian standing there looking down at them.  They all rose at once.  And the lead clown(the weirdest of them all) said I am shaggy two dope and you...................
NEXT
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on May 30, 01, 12:28:02 pm CDT
"...need a touch up on your make up" But the way he said it was not friendly at all. Christian panicked as he started toward her with a huge powder puff full of some sinister looking stuff.
Stumbling backward, Christian could not take her eyes off the sinister clowns to turn and run. Just when she thought all hope was gone, Christian backed right into something warm and living.
"What the hell is going on," Boomed a very masculine and angry voice behind her. Turning to look Christian saw it was...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Gareth on May 30, 01, 03:21:08 pm CDT
Garth, the Scottish Scourge.

The Harbringer of Haggis. Scotland's favorite son. The defender of the weak. Feared the land over by outlaws, brigands and sheep. Striking a manly pose, placing his fists on his hips and thrusting his chiseled jaw into the air, Garth boomed once again.

"I said, what the hell is going on here?!"

After remaining still for a moment to ensure that his visage and manly physique have been noticed by all, Garth looks down at the trembling Christian and bids her to get behind him. Then pointing at Shaggy Two Dope and his henchclowns, Garth admonishes, "Drop the powder puff, clown, and no one will get hurt."

Recovering from the sudden appearance of the seven foot tall, kilted Scotsman, Shaggy Two Dope barks out orders, his painted face twisted in a sadistic sneer. "Fong that sheepshagger! Break his bones, twist his... PAIN! Lots of pain!" The henchclowns pull out a variety of deadly seltzer bottles, whoopie cushions, handbuzzers and party favors.

Garth pushes Christian further back out of the way and steps forward to meet the charge of Two Dope's henchclowns.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: shadow on May 30, 01, 03:51:37 pm CDT
The fight that ensues is one of deadly speed and accuracy.  Garth dodging deadly spitz of seltser and glancing painful shots from whoopy cushions from his kilt....his wiffle bat finally making a much needed appereance as Garth is struggling to keep up with the five clowns and their ringleader.  The wiffle bat leaving a wake of unconscious clowns and one razed and dazed shaggy two dope.  As garth began to do his usual victory sheep dance christian asked him.................
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Danae on May 30, 01, 09:12:46 pm CDT
"Do you mind if I go see about those spoons?"  

But Garth was too busy sheep dancing to notice, so she just went over and began to gather up the spoons.  Lovely, pretty, shiny things...she gathered them all carefully and...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on May 30, 01, 09:58:59 pm CDT
...put them inside her shirt for safe keeping. She couldn't wait to get home with her pretty collection to sort through and see if she really had found the perfect soup spoon. Turning to Garth she said, "Ummm...well, I'll be going now. Thanks for your help."
Garth stared at her. "But what about my reward," he asked with what he thought was a sauve smile.
"What could you possibly want?" Christian asked.
He replied, "I want...."
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Gareth on May 30, 01, 10:47:03 pm CDT
As the rush of battle slows in his veins and the Sheep Dance of Victory runs its course, Garth stops to take toll of his afternoon's work. Hardly work, he thinks to himself, merely a light frolic for one of such talents as I. Busying himself with the task of checking the bodies for anything of interest, he can't help put glance over at the young girl as she sorts through the spoons scattered across the pavement.

"Humphff. Women."

Christian ceases to notice the big Scot, her attention focused on the antique soup spoons. The songs they sing... old songs. Some older than others, some fast, some slow. She picked up each one and listened intently. As she placed the last spoon into the bag which the thieves had used to spirit them from the store, she sighed. Although there were many fine examples of soup spoon technology, THE soup spoon she sought was not here. Christian stood and turned to find Garth staring intently at her.

"I thank you for your kindness and timing, sir."

"Awww, tweren't nothin' lass." Garth blushed. "What are you doing here and how did you get mixed up with the Dopey Clown Posse?"
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: shadow on Jun 01, 01, 09:03:51 am CDT
As christian recounts her story of a quest for the perfect soup spoon gareth with a dark look in his eyes grow scared.  
Methinks lass you need a helping hand from a man in a white smock.  

I know this all sounds crazy christian replies.  But i have a soup spoon fetish.  With that gareth eyes her even more carefully.  
Lass im gonna say one thing to you......
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on Jun 01, 01, 10:22:40 am CDT
"...I think your nuts! This whole quest for the perfect soup spoon sounds absolutely ludicrous! Yer on your own hunny...just go see the guy in the white apron." With that Gareth walks away shaking his head in amazement. Passing his fallen foes he does a quick rendition of his victory dance, before walking out of sight.
"Great," thinks Christian. "Where the hell am I gonna find the guy in the white apron?" Jus then she had an idea. She would go to...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jun 02, 01, 12:19:34 am CDT
the Yellow pages. They would know where to find the man in a whiten apron.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Hallertauer on Jun 02, 01, 10:32:52 am CDT
She finds the nearest phone booth with its phone book still intact. As she closes the door she thinks "when Superman changed into his outfit what did he do with his suit and tie?" Oh I don’t have time to ponder this I have to find the guy in the white apron. She opens the book to the T section and finds…
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Tobin-Ru on Jun 02, 01, 01:51:43 pm CDT
"Tobin Barney's White Apron Eatery" in big bold letters.  She immediately thinks to herself, "Where have I seen that name before?".  Without a second thought, she tore the page out and was off.  "Damn", she muttered, "I forgot the spoons, AND my keys."

An hour later, after much off the beaten track travel, she arrives a the Eatery.  Only to find................
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jun 02, 01, 02:48:40 pm CDT
That it is closed between the hours of 2p.m. and 5p.m. So she decided to wait and..................
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Hallertauer on Jun 02, 01, 03:35:48 pm CDT
pop in to the pub next door. Upon entering she finds the bar almost empty, a few people are sitting at some tables. A sparkle of brass catches he eye at the bar and she spys a gleeming Guinness tap! She calls the barkeep over and orders a "half and half" Sure says the barkeep but...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Annette on Jun 02, 01, 03:36:28 pm CDT
That was when she heard a bizarre sound. The sound of two silver soup spoons clinking against each other. How odd,she thought as she looked around for the source of the sound. It was coming from the back of the pub. Slowly she crept around the side of the building and peered out from the corner... and there by the dumpster stood...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Hallertauer on Jun 02, 01, 03:46:28 pm CDT
Sanitation engineer of the year Ed Wantsome, she recognized him after seeing his picture in this mornings paper.  Wow sir can I have your autograph? He looks at her and reaches in to his pocket…
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on Jun 02, 01, 11:03:41 pm CDT
...and pulls out a pen in the shape of a soup spoon. Christian is in awe of him. "Where did you get that?" she asks breathlessly.
"Just around the corner at Tobin Barney's," Ed replies. "They have lots of great spoons there."
After getting her autograph Christian runs around the corner to the store...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: shadow on Jun 02, 01, 11:47:36 pm CDT
and runs right into the door
SMACK!

OWW she exlcaims
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on Jun 03, 01, 08:25:41 pm CDT
Trying again, Christian carefully opens the door before stepping inside. Inside she is faced with rows upon rows of tables with men in white aprons standing at them. There are also several men in white aprons running around the eatery. "Great, where do I start?" she thinks to herself.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Tobin-Ru on Jun 03, 01, 09:17:43 pm CDT
Then it hit her, standing in the center of it all, she saw a man in a purple outfit wearing a white apron, directing the mess like a conductor in a orchestra.  That has got to be him, Tobin Barney, without a doubt.

She felt like a mouse in a maze, wading through the wiaters.
As she got closer, she could not do anything else, but stare at his striking features.  That's when she.........
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jun 04, 01, 02:15:38 am CDT
That's when she shook off the pain of running into the door. She got up and went inside. There was just one man there. He was in a white apron and smiling like a virgin boy on his first night with a woman. He had a scar on one side of his face and an eye patch on the other. He was fat and balding and a little slow on the up take. He said "Welcome lass, to Tobin Barney's Eatery. I have all the soup spoons you could ever want."
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Hallertauer on Jun 04, 01, 08:21:37 pm CDT
But if you ask me kid you should find your self a nice golden Spork, because like life, its not just soup its a meal! Go see my friend Ron MacDonald who works under the sign of the golden cleavage he may be able to help...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: StrawberryTart on Jun 05, 01, 02:14:35 pm CDT
Christian looked at the poor deluded fool in pity, for she knew that Sporks, even golden ones, weren't worth the same as even the most decrepit soup spoon.  She also knew that the sign of Ron McDonald wasn't cleavage, but an upended arse, symbolic of what Ron liked to do with the sporks in his spare time.
So she turned to the piano player in the corner who looked like Rowlf the dog, and said...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jun 05, 01, 02:21:42 pm CDT
"Play 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' for me please", she said.
As the piano player started to play she clicked her heals together 3 times and said "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home."
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on Jun 05, 01, 09:45:46 pm CDT
But her clicking heels didn't take her home, it merely earned her strange looks from the piano player. With a dejected sigh Christian went to her waiting vehicle. Then she went back inside to get her keys. But as she entered the eatery again she noticed something odd. The piano player had the top of the piano open and he was disappearing inside of it. Thinking quickly Christian ran over and peered inside. That was when she saw...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jun 05, 01, 11:43:00 pm CDT
The 2 people making out. She RAN outside and halfway down the street. Then she went back and looked again. It was 2 HUGE soup spoons making out. "I must still be in shock", she thought out loud, "or am really needing a new hobby." "Soup spoons can't make out, can they?"
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Danae on Jun 06, 01, 04:01:58 am CDT
It was then that she remembered that she should have taken her medication an hour ago.  Sitting down at a table, she ordered a glass of water and a cup of soup.  Soon as the water arrived, she popped her pills (after carefully checking to make sure they were the right ones) and felt the world start to slide back into focus.  Ah, much better, she thought, and just then the soup arrived.  She picked up the soup spoon and...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Ariel on Jun 06, 01, 09:50:08 am CDT
...Found in her hand the most amazing soup spoon. It fit her hand like a glove, so perfect, so smooth. Not too big, not too small, with the perfect design on its handle. It glowed silver in the light of the eatery and Christian's heart raced. She dipped it into her soup and brought the food shakingly to her lips. It was an experience Christian would never forget. She had found the soup spoon that was perfect! Perfect for her.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jun 06, 01, 11:57:11 am CDT
As she brought the spoon to her lips, she could hear it singing. 1st Tenor at that! "I think I am in heaven!!!", she exclaimed loudyly.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jun 07, 01, 12:17:59 am CDT
And with that, Tobin-Barney said "Take it my dear. It has been waiting for you." Christian took the spoon and headed off for home.


She headed off for home with the perfect soup spoon for her collection. OR SO SHE THOUGHT..................


THE END?!!
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: StrawberryTart on Jun 07, 01, 02:05:28 pm CDT
While she was heading home, she happened upon a man named Wayne, who was looking for Gareth.  He heard the wonderful voice of Christian's soup spoon, and said, "Excellent!! Can it play Freebird?"
The soup spoon glared (as much as soup spoons can glare) at Wayne, and changed its tune, but it wasn't Freebird that the Spoon sang.  Oh no, it was....
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jun 25, 01, 12:21:04 pm CDT
"Now this is the tale of our cast aways. They are here for a long long time. They have to make the most of everything they find. No lights! No cars! Not a single luxury. Like Robinson Crusoe. As primative as can be. So join us here in another thread."

Soup Spoons: The Adventure Continues.............
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Jun 25, 01, 02:14:21 pm CDT
Christian thought about Spooning. You know, Moon, June, Spoon,  and other-oon words. You know the one about the dish running away with the spoon. So romance is tied up to sppons. Maybe it would be that way with Cristian. ...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jul 01, 01, 06:44:47 pm CDT
She took her singing spoon to bed with her that night. "If I make love to it, maybe it will shut up," she thought.

That night she did everything she could for the spoon, but to no avail. Of course she didn't know what she was doing. She didn't even know how to make love to a man let alone a spoon.

Just then the spoons song changed again...............
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Jul 02, 01, 09:24:55 am CDT
Tuning up the volume, the spoon crooned a moon song. Whe the moon is full i'll change for you.
"What kind of song was that" she said. "Well the next full moon was tomorrow night" Soon enough for Christian to find out if the song meant anything. As the next night rolled in. She prepared for bed as usual. She polished the spoon with the best silver polish until it shone almost as bright as the light from the moon shining in her window, She watched carefully as midnight approached,the spoon's song rose in volume and a change seem to occur. The outline of the spoon seemed to go blurry. . She tried cleaning her glasses. but that wasn't the solution. suddenly with a loud Pop! The Spoon shattered and lo and behold. On the bed  was the most handsomest, most beautiful Fork she had ever seen. All this time she thought. "I've been looking for Spoons when all I reaaly wanted was a Fork!" Christian thought.
The next morning when she rose from bed with the fork, she went out a bought....
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jul 05, 01, 06:32:46 am CDT
A .44 Desert Eagle and enough ammo to load it up. "I think that I need to find a new hobby. Or be committed to the Sanitarium." she thought.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Jul 05, 01, 09:34:36 am CDT
Arriving home with her new weapon she proceded to waste the spoon collection. She also called the nearest Sanitarium, The Ronald Reagan Center for the Wandering Mind.
 "If anyone tries to enroll me there, The police will investigate you." she said. They hung up on Christian. Just another crank call they thought.
"Now that that's done what shall I do for the rest of the day. I can't go shopping. That's how I got in trouble the first time. I Know. There's a new movie showing Downtown. "The Hobbit that ate .....
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jul 05, 01, 10:45:07 am CDT
out the Nun". Hmmmm! That's an interesting title for a movie she thought. Then she looked at the location of the movie and realized that she had an adult movie. "Oh well," she said out loud, "that's as good a movie to go see as any. I wonder if the popcorn is any good."
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Jul 05, 01, 11:13:26 am CDT
When she got to the theatre they wouldn't let her in as she forgot her ID. "Oh well, I bet the popcorn was lousy anyway."
"As long as I'm down here  let me look in that fortune teller's store."
 She enters behind the curtain to find a young gypsy and a crystal ball on the table. Why the gypsy was on the table, i will never know. " Looking for your fortune?" he said.
 Have a seat and i will consult the crystal ball".
She sat down. He Looked at the crystal. and decided it needed polishing. Wiping it off it seemed to darken.
"i see, I see" There is a tall dark and handsome ..."
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jul 05, 01, 11:58:06 am CDT
woman coming into veiw," he said, "I see the two of you getting, uh, intimate. Very intimate."

"Hmmm," she thought, "I think this man is a quack."

Then suddenly, without a second thought, she pulled out her .44 and........................
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Jul 05, 01, 01:23:31 pm CDT
put it back in her purse."No use getting in trouble again"" She thought. The Gypsy scared by the gun said, let me look again. He did look and saw the dark woman of the earler vision but she was on the arm of two handsome blond men. And by the way their both straight. You will meet them at a restaurant." Fade too Black. "That's all i see now". Christian left the store and wandered down the street. She saw two restaurants. "I wonder, she said. She entered the nearest diner. In a booth in the corner, she thought she saw someone like the vision but it turned out to be ...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jul 05, 01, 11:46:49 pm CDT
a reflection of herself in a mirror. "Hmmm. I didn't realize that I was such a hot babe. Better than Angelina Jolie any day."

Just then she looked around and saw 2 men that looked remarkably like the vision at the fortune tellers. "I think I need a drink. THis is all getting to sureal for me."
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Jul 06, 01, 01:33:24 pm CDT
but there were holding hands, so it could'nt be her  guys. Leaving the restaurant she walked over to the other place on the block. Sure enough there was the dark woman and two blond men. She tripped as she entered the restaurant and one of the guys helped her up. "Thank you" she said, "I'm not usually so clumsy". "I'm sure you're not. A good looking woan like you must be graceful".
"Wow, she thought, "Dont he talk nice".
"We were just sitting down to lunch, would you care to join us" the Man Said. "Oh by the way I'm Jerry".
"oh, I'm Christian"
"Well, I'm not but it doesn't matter". Jerry said.
They sat down and Jerry introduced the other couple.
"This is Marcia and John".
"Oh just like the stars of my favorite soap opera" said Christian.
 "It's a small world, we just happen to work on that show"
Would you like to see a taping of the Show?"
Christian agreed and after lunch they went to the studio.
As they entered the lot, the gate guard said " ...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jul 10, 01, 01:06:27 pm CDT
"Hey aren't you the one that did that calendar?" he asked Christian.

"What calendar?" Christian asked questionly.

"The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. The one that was photograhed in the Bahamas. I could swear that you are one of the models."

"Thanks for the flatery, but I ain't one of them. They get to date whoever they want."

"Who do you want to date?" Jerry asked.

"I want to date Marcia" she replied.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Jul 10, 01, 04:20:39 pm CDT
Smiling she left the guard behind and continued onto the lot with her new friends. "Even jack lemon went in drag for his acting career." ThoughT Christian. Going into the set, she met the director.
"Miss bring me the latest script pages". He said to Christian.
"I guess he thinks, i'm a gofer.
"Mr. Director, get your own scripts" I don't work here".
 "miss if you don't work here why are you on my set?" he said. "Well,...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jul 10, 01, 04:28:12 pm CDT
"I am here with John and Marcia. They invited me along. Besides, I just love this show." replied Christian.

"Well in that case, you can stay. Tell me would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" queried the director.

"No thanks. I have, uh, plans for this evening." said Christian.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Jul 10, 01, 04:39:40 pm CDT
"How about coming to the set tomorrow, I have just the walk-on part for you? The director said. "oh by the way my name is Ken."
"What do I have to do for the part?, Christian said.
'Nothing like that, my dear" said Ken. Just show up at the lot at 9 AM.
The next day Christian showed up and found the guard smiling at her as he directed her to ...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jul 11, 01, 09:54:29 am CDT
A soundstage at the back of the lot. "There is a trailer there that you can use to get ready. When you are ready, just go on into the soundstage. They will be waiting." said the guard.

"Thank you Hank." she replied as she went to where he had directed her. Once she got into the trailer, she found Marcia sitting there in lingerie, waiting. "It's about time you got here. Were you seriuos about wanting to go out with me?" she asked Christian as she closed the door.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Jul 11, 01, 11:05:15 am CDT
"Well everywhere you go cute guys seem to come up and act very friendly". "Seems to me I can get some of that action', Christian replied.
 "Oh , its time to get on the set." marcia said. So they left the dressing room and entered the set. It looked liked a hospital room. Marcia Hopped into the bed.
"I'm supposed to be very ill and in a coma."
 Now Christian knew why she was dressed as a candy striper.
 Reading over the lines she had written on the back of the clipboard she carried, Christian said "there must be some mistake this patient can't read the books I brought"
Dropping one of the books on the floor caused a loud noise.
While picking it up she saw a monitor nearby start flickering. Knowing this must mean something she called out "Doctor, doctor come here"
John came running in with a stethoscope in his hand.
He took a look at Marcia. There seemed to be some movement at the corner of her eyelid. Yes, that was a tear coming out down her cheek. He called for the nurses to come and bring the ozygen tanks. Slowly administering some oxygen to Marcia, he saw her eyelids open. Leaning over, he heard a faint sound like "Get off my breathing tube, you idiot"
 Stepping back quickly he saw Marcia ....
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jul 12, 01, 04:14:50 pm CDT
Marcia flirting with Christian. Christian returned the gestures.
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Jul 13, 01, 09:04:42 am CDT
Christain saw it was only the medication that made it seem the gestures meant anything. Lack of Oxygen too added to the confusion. The doctor ordered candy striper Christian out of the room while he made sure of Marcia's safe recovery.
 The director yelled "Cut". "Ok. Lets try that again"
 Later after the director was satisfied that all the camera angles and shots had been made, he called for a lunch break.
 Entering the commisary  Christian was suprized to see all the other famous stars having lunch.
 She saw they seemed to be looking at her.
"well i suppose I am being seen as the directors new pet", she thought. "Well it wasn't bad for a first time acting job"
The people continues to stare. Finally her favorite hunk came over and said " Pardon me Me miss, I didn't mean to stare but did you know that your ...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jul 24, 01, 08:26:22 am CDT
Panties are showing?" Christian was a little stunned to say the least! "Th-thank you sir. What are you going to do about it?"
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Jul 25, 01, 11:56:59 am CDT
Blushing, Christian replied, "You like my new Bob Mackie costume? He had made it for Cher but she said it did't go far enough. I saw it hanging near the dumpster and asked if I could have it. Mr. mackie said yes.

The hunk nodded, his eyes falling out of his head. "Maybe we could meet after your last take tonight, I know a quiet little bistro down the block.? asked the hunk. "Well I'll have to check with marsha and the director" replied Christian. "If it's ok  we'll meet by the makeup tent" Said
Christian.
Shooting of the episode lasted till late. It was dark when
Christian reached the makeup tent.
 Looking around in the darkness she heard a sound. "Is that you" she said. getting no answer she moved towards the entrance of the tent and ran into ....
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Jul 25, 01, 01:53:26 pm CDT
Ran into one of the posts that was holding up the tent. She felt something wet on forhead. Christian reached up and touched the spot and looking at her fingers realized it was blood. That is when she noticed the rope on the post. Going around to the other side she saw the body of the man she was supposed to meet.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" she screamed out. She stood there transfixed by the site. In the center of the man's forhead, was spoon with a note. The note said.......
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Jul 25, 01, 03:18:53 pm CDT
Forks rule the world!
"What do you suppose that means" Christian thought and then started screaming. A studio guard rushed up, saw the body and used his cell phone to reach the police,

Four hours later the police showed up.
 "too may crank calls and we don't come to the studios".
the detective said.
 Christian  calmed enough by now told of the planned meeting. She said "only one person could have overheard my making that appointment, it must have been ...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Damien_Alexandre on Oct 21, 01, 03:34:41 pm CDT
....&quot;Hank.  Or was his name Ken?&quot;    Christian shrugged and walked away from the detective.  Searching through her purse, she found her keys.  &quot;Odd, I've never thought of putting them in there every time.&quot;  She jumped into the drivers seat and buckled up.  Adjusting her rearview mirror, she gasped when it reflected......
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Oct 22, 01, 12:33:02 pm CDT
bloodstained writing on her back windshield.
Stopping the car she rushed out to read the writing.
&quot;This is your final warning&quot; it said and there was an arrow pointing down towards her trunk.

Carefully she approached her trunk and inserted the key.
 Slowly it turned and the trunk release opened.
 As the trunk light came on she heard a click sound and saw a flash of light burst from her trunk. Blinded by the light she fell back but felt no pain.
 As her eyes cleared she could see into the trunk as she raised herslf carefully. What she saw amazed her.
 It was a ....
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Damien_Alexandre on Oct 24, 01, 03:54:53 am CDT
....Polaroid camera that her brother had idiotically left in the trunk.  The odd thing though was that the camera was being held by a person.  A real living, breathing person.  Her Landlord smiled up at her, and with eyes glittering said.......
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Oct 24, 01, 06:25:24 pm CDT
&quot;thank goodness it's you. Someone knocked me on the head and threw me in your trunk. I was prepared to scare whoever opened the trunk when i found the camera.&quot;

Christian said &quot;Mr Foster, I,m so sorry. There's some creep following me. and i guess his message is that he knows where i live. Could you help me wash this message off and i'll drive you home.&quot;

Mr. Foster agreed and when they finished she drove home. As they approached her appartment building. there were police cars at the front door and the lights in her apartment were on.

She asked a policeman what happened.
 He said &quot; Neighbors reported a disturbance and when we arrived  your door was broken in and on the floor we found ...
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Magnus on Oct 25, 01, 02:01:03 am CDT
a letter that said &quot;let this die. Please&quot;
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Damien_Alexandre on Oct 25, 01, 03:20:02 am CDT
Christian began to walk around her apt. inspecting the extent of the damage.  She had just reached the kitchen when suddenly she lost interest in everything.  Heaving her hands in the air she turns to us and begins screaming.  &quot; Magnus is right morons!!!  Let the freaking story die!!  I haven't slept in a week!!  People are shooting at me....some are dying....and my landlord was just camping in my trunk!!  And all this for a freaking spoon??  What kind of sickos are you freaks??  The spoon really isn't that important.  Hell, I don't even like soup anymore!!!  I QUIT!!!!&quot;  And with a haughty toss of her hair, Christian walked to the window and threw herself down to the street.  Staring at the tinkling glass in a daze she was startled to find the Perfect Soup Spoon, The Golden Spork, and the Disguised Fork falling beside her.  She dies on the pavement, sobbing.  


                             The End??
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Oct 25, 01, 10:25:25 am CDT
&quot;3$%?!!! That was some dream&quot; Christian said when she awoke the next day. &quot;No more Limburger cheese, ratatouili and Hard cider before bed.&quot; She then advertized her spoon collection  on E-Bay.

&quot;Enough with collecting. I've got to get out and meet people.&quot; She remembered that famous quote &quot;
Damn you Scarlet, Tomorrow is another day &quot;
Thus ends this tale!
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: Kurgus on Nov 08, 01, 05:14:32 am CST
It was a little rarely heard of town called oddly enough, &quot;Spoonvile&quot; out on Route 66 somewhere in the back areas of New Mexico. So Christian continued driving until she came upon what looked like a crashed plane. &quot;Oh my1&quot; She gasped, &quot;I should stop and see if there is anything I can do!&quot;
  Christian got out of here Land Rover and ran over to the wreakage, only to discover that this was no airplane. This craft look like something out of Star Wars or Star Trek.  She noticed something glowing in a pile of twisted debri. As she learn closer to see what it was, she screamed with horror as...........

  Next...
 
  Bill H.
  Kurgus MacGrone, The Charmer
  Ren Vet (of 8 years)
  Privateer and Ren Merc in Postage
  The Gentlemen Rogue
  Rogue# 616
  The MIRF PAK
Title: Soup Spoons: The Adventure Begins
Post by: johnians on Nov 08, 01, 11:26:08 am CST
&quot;Wait a minute&quot; Christian called out.
&quot;I forgot to turn the TV off. I dont need to see this rerun of a Twilight Zone episode. In fact it's the same one that got me into all the spoon nonsense to begin with.
With that she turned the TV off. The screen went Blank
 and Christine went on with her life unseen by any further readers and writers.